General Zalbarg had been tasked with finding a new planet for his people, of Planet Hlaxion, located in the Garfalaz Nebula.
“What is it, Captain Lorging?”
“The probes, sir. They’ve returned. The planet “Earth”, as they call it, seems to be a match for our needs.”
“That is excellent news Captain. Excellent. Send an exploratory team at once. We must exterminate their people and take this planet as our own.”
Unfortunately, for the Hlaxions, the probes’ sensors did not detect the emissions deadly to their people: Cow Farts.
The greatest scientific minds on Hlaxion worked tirelessly for years to solve the issue of Cow Farts.
They have been unsuccessful.
“We’ve recieved news about Earth that you need to hear.”
“Spill it Captain, I haven’t got all day.”
Captain Lorging explained the news to General Zalbarg.
The Democrats of Earth, in a section called America, were planning to exterminate Cow Farts entirely.
They wanted the entire planet to follow suit as well.
A slow smile crept across the General’s face.
“Thank you, Captain, that is great news indeed. Once they unwittingly help our cause, we will strike, and the planet will be ours!”