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Guinness Sucks

That’s right. I’m not afraid to say it. As a matter of fact, I’ll say it again, and in caps.
GUINNESS SUCKS.

I know this brand has been around for a long ass time (since 1759) and has almost a “cult” following, but that doesn’t mean I have to like a really popular brew.
And I don’t.
There’s nothing remotely redeeming about Guinness Extra Stout. From the smell, to the taste, it’s just awful.
This was the first Stout I had ever tried way back in the day, and for years Guinness was the reason I didn’t bother with Stouts, I just assumed they would all be as bad as this one.
I just went about my “business” through the years, picking up Ipa’s/Lagers & Wits to fulfill my beer drinking needs, with the occasional Pilsner sprinkled in for variety.
You know, pretty much anything other than stouts.
So for that, Guinness, I hate you.

As I’ve expanded my “beer drinking horizons” since my younger years, I’ve tried stouts from different breweries on occasion.
Guess what?
There are actually good ones out there! I know, it’s crazy that I let my experience with Guinness sway me away from delicious beer for way too long.
But no more!
I won’t name the actual good stouts I’ve had, this post is all about Guinness and their awfulness, but maybe I’ll talk about those at a later time. Maybe I won’t, it’s too soon to tell.

It gets better though. “Better” being the operative word.
Guinness released a blonde and a Nitro IPA.
I imagine they probably realized their flagship brew sucked, and wanted to tap in to another segment of the market.
It worked on me, and I bought Guinness ‘Blonde’ to give it a shot.
I should have left it on the shelf where it belongs. I take that back, it doesn’t even belong on the shelf. Their entire inventory should be dumped in a landfill somewhere with all of those E.T. Atari games.
Then there’s Guinness ‘Nitro IPA’. You would think at this point I’d know better, but then you’d be giving me too much credit, I’m not that bright.
Of course I tried this brew, and with similar results as their ‘Blonde’. It just wasn’t any good.

So there you have it, Guinness Sucks.
Have a great day.

@TheStraightHops

I like beer.
I drink beer.
Sometimes, I even review beer.
If I feel like it…

6 Comments

  1. I havent had a Guinness stout in ages. I remember it being good, but that was when there wasnt as much to choose from. I did try the nitro IPA a few months ago strictly based on the name, but I found it was awful.

  2. My 2 cents. I don’t seek their stuff out, damn you untappd, but Guinness Extra Stout, which is different from the normal stout is actually rather tasty. The one made in Jamaica is the best I’ve had so far. It’s made a little different for each region it’s in to my knowledge. Normal stout, blonde and most of the other stuff is just boring to me but if nothing else is around it’s solid. Nitro IPA, canned, on tapped, whatever I agree with you is terrible. So does Guinness suck to me. Nah. Plenty of other beers to try to avoid having them. And yes there are beers that do suck. Had some this weekend which makes Guinness a 5 kegs 🙂 Cheers

  3. great review I could feel your hate the blonde is okay and the nitro IPA lacks in the wow factor. but there flagship ale or stout the problem with it is very dry and doesn’t quince your thirst but it is a very low calorie stout. and I still drink it on occasion but it is not the first ale or beer I reach for..

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